Marriage Philosophies: The Female Perspective
I am fortunate not to have come from a broken family. My parents have been married all my life and have set me up for romantic hopelessness. In a time when the divorce rate is over 50%, it’s difficult to imagine that marriage in anything more than the legally binding contract that it is, a paper that enables two persons to benefit from tax breaks and the sharing of assets. Most of my friends’ parents are divorced and even my boyfriend comes from a broken marriage, his parents divorcing even before he was born. Regardless of the reality, I remain hopeful that marriage can be something more.
I want marriage to be everything it could possibly be–not just a legal contract or a tax break, but a promise between two people that means something more. Marriage should be a promise to be loyal, a vow to be wholly devoted to another person and to be sensitive to their needs as a person now and in the future as well. Yes, people change and the feelings that may have been present on one’s wedding day may have waned since, but marriage should be more than a selfish happiness. It should be something more than “You make me happy,” something more like “I want to be there to see you every time you are happy.”
I’m not disillusioned to believing it’s easy and that yes, the odds of my marriage working out is 50/50, but I still like to think that as humans, we are capable of something more. I’m prepared for the obstacles and hardships that may come with marriage but I’m also ready for the joy and happiness it can bring at its very best.
Marriage Philosophies: The Male Perspective
My parents divorced the day after they got married because my dad cheated on my mother on their honeymoon night–he took a prostitute to the hotel room next door and there is reason to believe he was sober. My mother was already pregnant with me and so you can imagine how I feel about marriage. Sure there’s love, companionship and the hope that the girl you are with is only sleeping with you but I think that the best one can hope for from marriage is a contract that lets you keep more of your income, share some assets, and maybe even have a hot meal when you get home.
Love, or whatever you feel is love, will fade after the wedding day regardless of how long you were dating before the wedding. Most likely she will get fat and flabby, stop taking care of herself and start watching Opera. I can still hope for sex without having to go through the dating dance but that will get lame as well. In reality, the best thing about marriage is knowing that you can pay less taxes and that the contract allows you to check the “married” box in surveys which usually allows you more benefits.
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